Friday, January 15, 2010

Pushing Yourself

As a working mom, I have been trying to fast track myself up the "ladder" at work and I rationalize that it will make me feel less guilty being away from my children all day if I am successful and making more money.  But in this process I have become a 'work horse'.  I work all day, I rarely take lunches.  If it wasn't for the fact that some of my co-workers have become friends, I would have no social outlet at all there.  So it becomes a lot of giving with no real receiving.  And I continue to feel the guilt.  But then I have days like today, where I finish the bulk of a project I have been putting in long hours on, and I realize how great I feel.  I feel no guilt right now.  I feel pride. I know that I am a good contributor at my company and that I do the best job I possibly can. And I make it a point to be completely present with my kids when I am home, even if I sometimes fail at that.

I do have to become a bit more unplugged this year.  I have to recognize that achievement isn't always tangible. And I have to take more vacations.  True, away from it all, not holiday related vacations. 

If I can push myself to quit bad habits, become a runner, and balance it all, then I think I can push myself into actually taking it easy.  2010 = the year of the tortoise, not the hare.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

nice post. thanks.

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